drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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