I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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