I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Randomize
