You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
