We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
