Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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