she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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