He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Can I color on your dick again?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
