i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
