We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Just high enough for therapy.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
