If i come over, it means nothing
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
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I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
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This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize