ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
