New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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