bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
