C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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