my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Randomize
