4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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