2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
