I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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