after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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