Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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