@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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