Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I supernannyed him into submission
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
