drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
