I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
