So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
