Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize