but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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