I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
