So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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