there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
