NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
