its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
