Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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