i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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