So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
