i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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