Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
So much Jack, so little girl.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
