these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
