watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
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