Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
