Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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