I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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