I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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