Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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