p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
