He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
