I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
