It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize