we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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