guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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