I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
