I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
