When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
