don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
