i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
birth control should be required to get into college
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
