And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
