if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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